Well, usually, you are aware because you have an uncomfortable feeling - you are angry, guilty, upset frightened or in pain. Your uncomfortable feelings usually tell you that you have a conflict. If you do not do a great job of listening to your uncomfortable feelings, your body will tell you with your chronic pain that there is some conflict that needs your attention.
Sometimes you know you are in conflict because all the people around you are in pain. You are fine, and you think everything is fine, but your employees are upset or don’t stay long, and everyone around you has a problem doing things the right way.
Or sometimes you are fine at work, but your personal life is taking a beating. You find you cannot stay in a relationship for long because you keep picking the bad apples. Or no one in your family is listening to you because they are all crazy.
Either way, you know you are in conflict when your discomfort or the discomfort of the people around you get in the way of you moving forward.