• Dr. Emi Garzitto

Is This a Signal or a Setback?

Framing your conflicts as information versus failure can help you move into action rather than freeze and hide.




Train yourself to view suffering as a signal. Your setback in information that is leading you to shed something that is far too heavy for you to carry. It may have helped you survive as some point in your life but it is now ready to leave.


When I am working with a client, an indicator that progress is taking place is when they are able to acknowledge and name their mistake, their pain, or their obstacle as a setback versus a failure.


Why is this important?


When we call a situation, a relationship or a circumstance that brings pain as a failure, our energy moves toward protection. We curl inward in the same evolutionary biology as if we are faced with a dangerous predator. Protection is about preserving our resources. Survival. It is the equivalent of a team going on defence. The mindset is about prevention, defending and eliminating threat.


If we think of our situation, relationship or circumstances that is causing us to suffer as a signal, our energy moves towards problem solving. Our body stands straight, Our senses become aware and our energy moves towards gathering more information and creating energy to do something. It is the equivalent of a team going on offence, creating opportunities for scoring.


In survival mode, you are thinking about the present moment. In problem solving mode you are using your resources to think about the future.


We need both mindsets.There are times when you will need to have the skill to go on defence mode in order to use your resources to protect you, your organization or your values.


But we also need to learn how to move towards opportunity.


As I have mentioned before, conflict is a signal that something in your world does not match your true self and it requires you to take some action. Conflicts remind you that you need to think or do something differently.


Train yourself to view suffering as a signal. Your setback in information that is leading you to shed something that is far too heavy for you to carry. It may have helped you survive as some point in your life but it is now ready to leave.

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